Smash The Mirror

    They say that time heals all wounds. And while Javen's accident last month was one of the most heart-wrenching moments for us, there truly are only physical wounds left to heal as a result of this situation. The Lord has kept us covered with that peace of His that really does transcend all understanding and comprehension. 

    There was so much to do the evening of the accident- cleaning out wounds, monitoring vital signs, keeping the injured from having to walk or do anything (we didn't want to risk them possibly damaging their spines any further), packing our camp up, satellite phone calls to America, keeping almost an entire village (literally) of concerned people from touching the men, and yet, His peace accompanied me through it all. As I helped my husband lay down in the tent that night to try and sleep, I prayed over him that he wouldn't wake up paralyzed or with any numbness in the morning. I couldn't believe that I was having to pray a prayer like that over him, but what he said to me at that moment gave me the grace that I needed to walk through it all. He said, "Did you see all of those people today? They got to see a miracle before their eyes. They saw us all live and walk away from the scene. Did you see them all praying for us? God is rocking this village. We have been asking that God would give us this WHOLE village with no one left out, and in one moment, He has done it. I would go through it all over again for them." All three men involved in the fall would say the same thing in the days that followed- they felt it was worth it for the village, and they would go through it all again for them. 

     As I heard Javen whisper those words in the tent that night, the scripture that rang out in my heart was from Philippians 1:29-

"For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for Him."

I want to make it clear that I do not at all equate what we went through to the magnitude of the suffering the writer Paul had experienced or early-day Christians and even those currently being martyred around the world for His Name. But I rejoiced that night in the unexpected beauty of the promise in this scripture and it became MY promise from my God. There is privilege in the suffering. 

     Earlier that night as my injured husband had laid under the star-filled, African night sky, on a little wooden table (a table that had been covered in chicken poop earlier that day but was the flattest surface we could find out in the bush), I had watched the village- witches and witch doctors, children and adults alike- all cry out to a Savior. The One they had been hearing so much about for the last 4 years. The One who we claimed to be good- no matter what- even in the midst of suffering. The One who we declared to be filled with love. The One who we said cared about them and their every need. He was the One who they chose to cry out to that night in prayer. They didn't call on any ancestral spirits. They called on the Savior as they surrounded my husband. And hours later, as I lay next to Javen in the tent, listening to the sounds of the village discussing the day's events around their campfires, I did indeed feel privileged. He had trusted us to go through this situation, knowing we would still love Him in each terrifying moment. He allowed us to walk through "the valley of the shadow" before their eyes... and they had gotten to see faith in action. 

     Earlier that day, right after falling, the men who could just barely walk stood up in front of the worried crowd of villagers gathered at the accident scene, and asked if they could all pray together. Javen felt the stirring of the Holy Spirit to make the most of the moment, knowing it wouldn't last forever. While assembled in the circle praying, Javen remembered the story of Paul being stoned and dragged out of the city (Acts 14), probably feeling defeated, as well as feeling physical pain, yet still traveled the next day to Derbe to preach. He recounted to me his feelings, as the crowd was gathered together, he said, "As much as I was in pain and wanted nothing more than to go home, I knew that we would never have this moment again. The crowd had just seen a miracle before their eyes. It was obvious that anyone of us could have died moments ago. As I was falling, the thought had crossed my mind that I might die; yet, I had no fear of death because of what I have. None of us know when we will die, and I wanted to give them the opportunity to be ready."  Javen shared the scripture with the crowd from James 4:14- "Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." He shared that he and the two other men were a living testimony standing before them of God's grace, knowing that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Each person gathered at that job site was given the opportunity to place their "mist", their quickly vanishing life, in the hands of the Savior.

     Recently, I was sharing with my Dad over Skype of the struggles of living in a culture so quick to betray and stab one another in the back- seemingly much faster than we do overall in our culture. "Friend" is a much looser term here than I am used to. I expressed that the temptation to allow it to get the best of you is real. It pressures you to close your heart to friendship, not allowing anyone to get too "close", thereby protecting your emotions. This, of course, is the opposite of what we are here to do-- be love, unreservedly, with no holds barred.

      ...And then, he said something profound, holding significant truth for us, especially in this past month of our lives. He said that we are not meant to be mirrors, merely a reflection of God's love upon the world, but we are created to be conduits of His love flowing directly to the people around us. It's a lot easier to simply hold up a mirror, than to allow ourselves to be an unobstructed channel for Him to flow through. Being a mirror holder requires no surrender; therefore, there is no suffering. That's why there is "privilege in the suffering", because in your darkest personal moment, you have allowed the Savior to flow through you, completely unhindered, to those around you. 

     This realization makes me want to smash every "mirror" in my life... every area of my heart where I have abdicated my place as a conduit of His love simply because it was "easier" to live like that. The seasons in life where it would be painless to say that I'm called, rather than act out my calling. The moments where it would be less demanding to just talk about stepping out in faith rather than jumping off the spiritual cliff into the mystery of trusting the Savior's arms to catch me.

There is worth in the suffering.
There is joy in being His conduit.

We are privileged to smash our mirrors.

"He who believes in Me [cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me] as the Scripture has said, from his innermost being shall flow [continuously] springs and rivers of living water." John 7:38

"For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for Him." Philipians 1:29

Javen's Accident Update

   

  One month ago, Javen, his dad and another missionary were in an accident in the bush. Some of the men fell from 13 feet high and others from 19 feet, as they were nailing trusses onto the church they were building. After hitting the ground, the truss that took 10 men to carry (because it was so heavy), fell on top of them, burying the men from their chests down. Javen, unfortunately, landed on his feet with all of his weight on his left heel (he is still having difficulty putting weight on it), before falling onto his tailbone. His head landed 6 inches from a huge rock. His leg was then impaled by a nail as the pieces of the truss rained down on them, and the other missionary working alongside of them also fell on top of him. Steve (Javen's dad) fell on his back, slamming the back of his head onto the ground. They suffered scrapes and bruises, but miraculously, all involved were able to walk away from the scene.

     It took us two days to travel home out of the bush (on very bumpy, dirt roads) to get them checked out. They had x-rays on their backs, necks and Javen's foot. Steve also flew to Dar Es Salaam to get an MRI (yes, you literally have to get on a plane to get to a place with an MRI scanner), due to the concern that he had a possible fracture in his neck after seeing the x-rays. There was not a single broken bone, but they did find bulging discs. Doctors urged Steve to go home to the States to receive therapy for his neck and ordered Javen to completely rest with no work, no travelling on bumpy roads, just absolute rest until his back gets better. Unfortunately, I don't think that he could do any of those things right now, even if he wanted to. He is taking a muscle relaxer/pain reliever that helps but still has to lay down a lot. He is not the type of person to baby himself when he is sick, still staying up half the night to work on his truck, even if he has a fever. Rarely a day goes by that I don't seem him planning out, piecing together or improving his latest project or helping someone else work on theirs. I know that he must be in a lot of pain for me to have not seen him working on anything for a month now. I so look forward to the day when our property is again filled with the noises of hammering and sawing and flashing with the glow of the welding machine. Yet, despite all of this, we are so grateful for every bit of healing that he has already experienced, and so thankful for everyone's prayers that have carried us through.

Praise Report: The villagers told us that this moment is going to go down in their history and in the history of the entire area. They said that every time they look at that building, it will serve as a reminder that God saved the lives of the men who fell- all of them miraculously walking away from the scene.

To hear further testimony read our post: "Smash The Mirror"

The Unseen Guest

"I WANT TO BE FREE! I WANT TO REPENT! PRAY WITH ME!"

After hiking up 3 mountains, while carrying 87lbs (almost 40 kilos) on our backs (between the 2 of us), sleeping on the ground that night and then hiking through a mountain village to do ministry hut to hut all day, we were finally just a 2 min walk away from our campsite, when those words pierced through the evening air...

"I WANT TO BE FREE! I WANT TO REPENT! PRAY WITH ME!"

At a hut, where over 20 people sat gathered together, a lone man stood up in the midst of them yelling to us. Not caring about the crowd observing his desperate display, he hurried to the edge of the property, screaming the same words over and over again. As we welcomed him to come over to us and talk, it was impossible to miss the condition of his soul, expressed through eyes so heavy that they themselves told us a story without needing words.

He shared that he couldn't live a life ruled by his addiction to alcohol anymore, and he needed us to pray to God that he would be set free. We shared with him that only Jesus could change his life- it has nothing to do with our power or his own. We told him, that with his own words, he could invite Jesus into His life to guide Him and give him the strength to make the daily decision to never be the person he once was. Falling to his knees, he cried out to God and after a few minutes, stood up as a man with new purpose. We told him that we will not always be around, but now, he had accepted the ONLY ONE into his life who will never leave him and will be able to give him the strength to stand in the midst of life's pain.

Walking away from that man, my heart was so overwhelmed.
He chased us down.
Not us, but the One living inside of us... and his destiny was restored to him- the life he was truly meant to live.

We had only been in his village for one day, and yet, Jesus was walking through the village, drawing hearts like the one belonging to this broken man. We read multiple times in scripture that, as Jesus walked, there were divine appointments waiting for Him along the way. People pursued Him, grabbed the hem of His cloak and met Him where they had only heard that He might be going. This desperate man was no different.

We have the Unseen Guest, who walked the dusty roads 2,000 years ago, healing as He went and restoring true life to the dying, walking alongside of us through each village and past every hut. Back then, His feet were in sandals; ours are in hiking boots. He walked the dusty roads of the Middle East; we tread on red-dirt paths of Tanzania. The sick flocked to Him everywhere He went; not a expedition goes by without a sick mother, son, daughter or neighbor being brought to us for help. The Gospel has remained the same these 2,000 years. Our venues may have changed, but His love never has.

May we never forget that we live in a world where the lost are still chasing Him down- whether they realize it or not. Every desperate attempt at self-preservation and self-inspired happiness is yet another lost child chasing after their Daddy. May we not miss our appointments along the dusty roads, red-dirt paths and sidewalks of our cities. He is the Unseen Guest accompanying us, and He is still in the business of changing lives.

Where Are You?

"Remember where you are."

Those were the last words my mom said to me as I said "goodbye" to her on Skype before leaving for expedition. With her words of wisdom, she was making an effort to convey to me the importance of never getting comfortable in my surroundings. Aka- remember that you live among lions, walk among deadly snakes and need to put your bug spray on in order to not get bit by malaria/dengue fever carrying mosquitoes. And while I did take her words to heart, a deeper meaning rang so clearly within my spirit.

"Remember where you are."


Remember that you are on the other side of the world for a reason..
Remember that you are privileged to obey the call...
Remember that you are a trail blazer and it isn't just a job...
Remember that you are living THE dream...
... not your own but HIS.


WHERE ARE WE? When God called to Adam in the Garden after he sinned, he asked, "Where are you?". I don't think that the Creator Himself had in fact misplaced Adam and Eve, but I think that we all need a "where are you" moment. The point was- Adam couldn't stay hiding in the bushes forever. We can live in our hiding places, our waiting rooms and places of comfort for so long that we forget to be "all that Christ saved us for".

Two days before leaving America this year, I felt the Lord challenge me by saying, "Live the life that Jesus died to give you". What was the life that Jesus saw us living that drove Him to stay on that cross? An average life? A perfect life? I think it had nothing to do with a life void of problems but a life of faith and destiny, lived in dependency on Him. What would our lives look like if we lived them to our full potential in Him? What was the potential He died to give us?

I heard someone once say, "We take communion to remember which side of the cross we live on". These are sobering words. We all from time to time forget "where we are" (which side of the cross we are living on) and instead, wait on God to remove the things that ensnare us, wait on Him to provide the resources to do His will- wait, wait, wait. Sometimes this self-imposed season of waiting lasts only a few days... sometimes weeks... and alas, some of us having been waiting for years. Unfortunately, we have set up camp in the waiting room. We've learned to exist on and even enjoy the vending machine junk food, the magazines and the same news reports playing over and over again on the little tv in the corner of the room. Years go by, only to discover the sickening truth- we have given up everything to live in the mundane. May our epitaph never read, "He/she wanted, hoped and dreamed of doing God's will".  Let us be all that Christ saved us for TODAY. Let us live the life that Jesus died to give us.

Where are you, Adam? (Gen. 3:9)
What are you doing here, Elijah? (1 Kings 19:13)

He doesn't leave us there, but He stands at the door and knocks-

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If ANYONE hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:20

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing." - John 15:5

Because He loves us too much to leave us in the bushes and in our waiting rooms, He pursues us until we remember that we are sons and daughters in His Kingdom.

"Remember where YOU are."

Let us be all that Christ saved us for... today.
Throw out the bag of Funyons, put down the magazine and let us set fire to the waiting room.



"The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is FULLY and WHOLLY consecrated to Him. I will try my utmost to be that man."- D.L. Moody

Home is Negotiable

Home.

A mud hut.
A one room apartment.

In a city.
In a gated community.
In a desert.

The classification of "home" is negotiable.

Some could never consider a home, no matter what kind it was, truly a "home" if it were in a city. They feel made for the open air of the country. Some could never feel truly at home living near the ocean because they simply must have the hustle and bustle of honking horns, taxis, endless walking of pedestrians and the echo of heels striking the pavement to feel at peace. But most would never consider the meaning of "home" to be negotiable for them. It must have a sense of familiarity to feel "homey". Comfort zones are built around the familiar, and from the time we are infants, we are brought up to feel that we must be at home in our "comfort zone" to feel happy, fulfilled or at least to keep us from having a total emotional breakdown.

For me, "home" has taken on an unexpected twist. The American Dream, white picket fence, idea of home is what I and what most have grown up with. Graduate. Have goals. Get a job to achieve those goals. Get married. Buy a house. Have kids. Get a dog. Oh... and don't forget the white picket fence surrounding your "home". Nobody said anything about running through the streets of a 3rd world market place dodging hecklers (because you're the only foreigner in the place), getting grabbed by beggars, bumping into rice sacks (not realizing that there is actually a person walking underneath until the last second), hopping over the produce sitting at your feet and sweating through the shirt you just put on 5 minutes before in the extreme heat-- all because you needed tomatoes. This is where I live most of each year... so this is "home" right? Or is home the American Dream that I came from?

Home is negotiable.

I have referred to both America and Africa as home all in the same week, and I don't know if that will ever change, because deep down at the root of it all- neither qualifies as home.

Home is where we feel complete and whole.
Home is where we feel comfortable.

In a state of rest.
In a place of peace.

And I have come to realize that I will never feel at home anywhere. And may I dare say that I am not meant to feel at home anywhere?

David said, "Cast me not from Your presence."

Moses said, "If Your presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here."

The Bible says that Jesus often withdrew to "lonely places" to pray (Luke 5:16). Do we think it was because He wanted to go somewhere where He would feel lonely? I think it was much more than that. It's those "lonely", not so "homey" places, when we are away from the hustle and bustle of the "normal", the familiar, our comfort zone, that God meets us. And I can tell you that in those moments... in those beautiful "lonely places"... We are never alone.

It's in the "lonely places" where "rest" takes on a new definition, because we only have His promises and not on our outside circumstances to rest in. It's there that He promises us- "Where your treasure is there the desires of your heart will be also." (Luke 12:34)

He is our treasure.

I have a whole new understanding of these words that I have heard since childhood:
"The kingdom of heaven is like TREASURE hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again and then IN HIS JOY went and sold all he had a bought that field." Matthew 13:44

And so, I do it all over again... year after year... transfer from one place that's not quite home to another that is even further from home... because they aren't and they will never be. I do it because HE is home. His Presence is home. The human definition of "home" is negotiable... my place in Him never is.

Goodbye America... Hello Africa

Tonight, we leave for Tanzania! Please keep us in your prayers. We will have a brief layover in Turkey for a couple of hours and then arrive in Dar Es Salaam around 3 am Sunday morning (Tanzanian Time). We love you all and appreciate so greatly all of the prayers, love and support that you continue to shower us with. We are blessed to have you stand with us. Thank you!

As I finished packing last night, these simple words rang in my heart from an old hymn, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word". We are blessed to know the depth of these words, stepping out and going to some of the darkest and most unknown places of the world. I was overwhelmed as I sat and thought about all of the moments in the last few years in Africa when I should have felt fear or apprehension, due to the severity of the situation that I found myself in. I also remembered back to when we first decided to leave it all and actually GO to Tanzania. We sold everything, quit our jobs and left. All of these moments came rushing back to me, and I realized a reoccurring theme among them all. A deep peace that, according to our circumstances, that I "shouldn't" have felt. A peace that went beyond the logic in the moment. Those words from that hymn have rung true in every moment. And I am so thankful, as we step out again, that we truly can just "take Him at His word". 

Whatever situation you may find yourself in in your life today, may you feel that same peace, despite what your circumstances might look like.

Be blessed.